It seems like I’ve always lived my life in a state of passing dread. Like I’ve always been waiting for something bad to happen, and I’m just holding my breath until it does. I haven’t had any huge tragedies in my life, except for a few years ago when my mom had to go to rehab for her drinking problem, but now she’s 100% cured and she’s absolutely my best friend.
So anyway, that irrational fear has taken place today. A few of my friends are throwing a party and it starts at 10 and goes til 1 am. I’m really excited, but I can’t help being afraid that something really bad will happen, that someone I don’t like or who doesn’t like me will be there, that the food won’t be good, that I just won’t have a good time in general. I have good friends, and they’re really supportive, but sometimes I feel like they aren’t enough for me, like they fight over stupid things, and they’re just not up to my level of maturity. Not that I think I’m too good for them, just I think I’ve outgrown them. They’re my friends from elementary school.
So, any advice for just letting go of my fear and having a good time? Any advice for getting over this fear in general?
Sorry, I know it was long, but if anyone has any advice, it would be greatly appreciated.
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